Adopting an Older Child

The Trials and Triumphs of Tween and Teen Adoptions

Feb 13, 2009

Adopting older children has its trials and triumphs. The main focus is that every child deserves a loving family, no matter what age the child is.

Adoption now is much more advanced then it was in previous years, and with so many choices. A family can go the traditional route and adopt a newborn from an adoption agency, or a family can choose to do an international adoption. There are families that do choose to adopt an older child either through foster care or through a private adoption. In fact, many people are turning to adopting older children for numerous reasons, such as:

Adopting an older child comes with many great benefits, but it also comes with some disadvantages. Before deciding to adopt an older child, it is wise to look at both the trials and the triumphs of adopting such a child.

Triumphs of Adopting an Older Child

The advantages to adopting an older child are plentiful. First of all, older child adoptions are more readily available both in the United States and around the world. On average, processing adoption papers takes much less time when adopting tweens and teens as compared to infants.

There are, however, some people who simply do not want an older child, especially if she has already gotten to know her biological parents. Some families want a fresh start with a newborn who will never know her biological parents. That leaves a lot more choices of older children that may not have found a wonderful home yet.

Another advantage to adopting an older child is that she is more than likely already able to have the unique interaction that adoptive parents long for. Since she is able to have a conversation and be social, the adopting family will have the opportunity to hear right from her mouth what she needs and longs to do, in order to make her happier.

This provides an easier transition into a new home, because she can communicate her feelings, and possibly even talk about her past experiences to let family members know who she is and how she ended up needing adoption. Eventually, she can also convey how secure and loved she feels in her new environment.

In addition, another wonderful advantage of adopting an older child is that the parents can gain a better knowledge of the child's health issues and what she needs to grow and thrive. The history of her life is already there, and can give an idea of what she likes, dislikes, and help make vital decisions about:

One other great advantage to adopting an older child is that the adopting family has a chance to make a bond with this new family member. This can happen even before bringing her home. By finding that connection with the child, a family is showing and telling her that she is being chosen because there is a family that wants to love her, and not because she is the only child that is available.

Trials of Adopting an Older Child

Unfortunately, adopting an older child also brings along some distinct problems. First and sometimes most importantly to newly adoptive parents is the feeling of missing out on all the “firsts” that a baby experiences such as crawling, talking, laughing, and eating independently.

Another trial occurs when finding that the older child may not be as easy to care for or may have some serious repercussions from going through foster homes or living with a less than desirable family. It can take some time for the child to trust a new family, and to feel comfortable within the home.

One other trial that is common with adopting an older child is fitting in with siblings that are biological to the adopting parents. It is a big responsibility to make sure biological children accept and love an adopted brother or sister to make the situation work well. Talking to a counselor before the adoption process takes place can answer many questions about this situation ahead of time.

For all the disadvantages to adopting an older child, the benefits far outweigh them. Not only is the adopting family getting a child to love and raise, but there is a child who desperately needs nurturing and proper rearing.

There are many older children waiting to be adopted, and just like any other child, one wants to feel loved, secure, and part of a family. Whatever trials are faced, the outcome of adopting an older child is simply amazing for both the parents and the child.

The copyright of the article Adopting an Older Child in Adoption is owned by Denise Oliveri. Permission to republish Adopting an Older Child in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.