Members of the adoption community often express disappointment at adoption news coverage. Some of the criticism targets writers who use out-of-date adoption language and information that perpetuates old stereotypes and myths. Others criticize the way some writers set adoptive families apart from families formed biologically. With a little foresight, adoptive families who participate in news stories can make a positive impact on the public’s views of adoption.
Adoption stories are human stories, and journalists and audiences love them. Privacy laws protect those in the adoption triad (birth parents, adoptees and adoptive parents); therefore triad members provide to reporters the details about their adoption story. This gives adoptive families control of the information they choose to share with the news media.
Factors for Triad Members to Consider Before Talking with Journalists
The value of privacy varies among adoptive families. Author and adoptee Sherrie Eldridge discusses the issue of privacy in her book Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew [Delta Parenting, 1999]. Eldridge urges parents to practice openness in adoption but to not reveal a child’s adoptive status indiscriminately to everyone they encounter. Eldridge cautions parents to consider how announcement of a child’s adoptive status might cause her “to feel uncomfortable, exposed, and different in a weird sort of way.”
On the other hand, some in the adoption community say sharing their personal stories helps people outside the community see the realities of adoptive families, as well as break through stereotypes and negative misconceptions. Triad members weighing whether to talk with news reporters should thoughtfully consider whether doing so is in the best interest of their family and all triad members – now and in the future.
Long-Term Privacy Issues in Electronic Media
Few journalists work with unnamed sources. Experiences shared with reporters, as well as images, become archived in news accounts and could remain Web-accessible forever. This means anyone could access them many years down the road, making it extremely important for parents to carefully consider what they’ll share with reporters and to take a proactive approach in sharing adoption information as soon as the adoptee’s ready. Adoptees should learn their history from their parents at an appropriate age, not from a computer screen. In addition, other reporters might gain interest and contact triad members for more interviews.
Prepare for Criticism From the Public
Many news Web sites allow readers to anonymously post comments about stories. Recognizing adoption is an emotional issue that attracts both avid supporters and detractors, triad members should consider whether they want to open up themselves and their loved ones for public debate and criticism, which might also take the form of letters to the editor. On the other hand, triad members could receive a wealth of positive comments and support.
Discuss Boundaries With Family Members
Talk about the information family members will share with the reporter. This discussion will define boundaries to protect triad members’ privacy and individual needs. Parents should ask for the adoptee’s involvement in this decision-making process. Don’t give information to reporters and then ask not to include it in the story. Share only relevant experiences, and never rely on someone else to withhold information – even if they’ve been asked to do so. Parents should attend all interviews with their children.
Always Use Positive Adoption Language
Positive adoption language is contagious! Today’s adoption terms reflect affirming attitudes about adoption. Triad members serve as their best ambassadors. If reporters use antiquated, negative language during an interview, gently correct them the first time and ask them if they’re familiar with A Journalist’s Guide to Adoption. This online resource helps journalists understand adoption from various perspectives and provides numerous tips on constructive adoption language.
Research the reporter’s work before the interview. If the writer doesn’t have much adoption-writing experience, consider working positive adoption language into the conversation early. Explain the value placed on positive adoption language and that it helps mitigate stereotypes and myths about adoption. Help the reporter understand adoption as a “normal” way to form a family and not second best. Share data from the National Adoption Attitudes Survey, including this statistic: Sixty-five percent of Americans have experience with adoption through their family or close friends.
Involve the Entire Family in the Decision
Birth parents, adoptees and adoptive parents are the true experts when it comes to teaching others about adoption. Those who decide to share their stories provide their neighbors with invaluable firsthand experiences from which society can learn about the realities of adoptive families. Whether to share those experiences is a decision that should be considered after careful discussion of the issues with the entire family.
