How To Evaluate a Foster Child For Adoption
Guide to Reviewing Records of Waiting Children
Jun 17, 2009
Families will spend many hours reviewing the photolistings trying to find the child for them. Many U.S. counties have websites which list waiting children. There are also photolistings available through Adopt US Kids and other state websites. The social worker assigned to the fost-adopt family may also have suggestions for a match. How does the family know which child would be a good match?
Consider Age, Gender and Race of Desired Foster Child
Parents must first decide on the age range of the child. While there are infants in the foster care system, there are far more children who are aged two or older. Other factors important to a family may be gender and race. Many children in foster care are non-White, many fost-adopt families are White. How important is race to the fost-adopt family? Transracial adoption has its own rewards and challenges but should not be considered without serious and thoughtful examination of the fost-adopt family’s willingness to tackle the challenges of being a transracial family. Finally, the family must decide whether they are willing to consider adopting siblings.
Evaluating Foster Child's History
Once the decision has been made about the type of child, the fost-adopt family will begin to express interest in particular children. The social worker assigned to the fost-adopt family will contact the child’s social worker to obtain information about the child, including birth history, placement history, and current health of the child. The following questions should be kept in mind when reviewing the child’s history:
- Birth history of child. Was the birth mother healthy? Did she have a history of mental illness? What is the father’s health history? Did she use drugs while pregnant? Did she drink? If so, what and how much and how often. Did she receive pre-natal care? Was the child hospitalized following the birth? Were any problems identified before the child left the hospital?
- Placement history of child. Who has the child lived with? How long was the child in each placement? Has the child been diagnosed with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) or been described as having “attachment issues”?
- Medical records. What do the medical reports reveal about the child’s history? Has the child had regular doctor appointments? If necessary, ask a doctor to review these records and share her perspective.
- Sexual or other abuse/neglect. Is there any evidence of sexual abuse? Any evidence that the child was physically abused or neglected?
- Developmental delays or disabilities. Is the child described as “developmentally delayed”? Has the child been diagnosed with any disabilities?
After gathering all available information, the fost-adopt family will need to determine if they feel they are prepared to deal with this specific child’s history and current situation. In order to make this determination, families should read widely about these issues and speak to experts about the parenting skills required to meet the child’s needs. Families should also speak with fost-adopt families about their experiences parenting children with similar needs.
There are many children in foster care who have been there too long and who really need their forever families. Adoption social workers are anxious to place these children as soon as possible. There may be pressure for a fost-adopt family to take a child or children that a family does not feel able to cope with. This is one of the most important decisions a family will ever make. The fost-adopt family should decline to be matched with a particular child if they feel unable to meet the needs of the child.
On the other hand, just because a child has “negative” information in his or her history does not mean that a fost-adopt family should automatically reject the child. Children adopted from foster care come with baggage. With the help of loving and dedicated parents, many children will overcome their difficult beginnings and blossom into loving family members.
Recommended Reading on Selecting a Foster Child for Adoption
The chapter on foster parenting and adoption in Adoption Journeys: Parents Tell Their Stories [McBooks Press, 1999], edited by Carole S. Turner, provides a first hand account of the fost-adopt journey by two parents who have adopted four children through foster care.
Lois Gilman’s The Adoption Resource Book [HarperCollins, 4th ed., 1998] provides a helpful chapter on adopting through foster care with tips for parents in assessing their own feelings associated with the trauma histories of many waiting children.
In Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents [Perspective Press, 2002], Deborah Gray explains the process of attachment and how disruptions in a child’s life can impact this attachment process. She also outlines the phases of attachment and provides concrete pointers for helping children attach to their fost-adopt parents.
The Adopt US Kids website includes stories by fost-adopt families describing their experiences in making the selection process.
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