Helping an Older Adopted Child Adjust to School
Ways to Make the Classroom Transition Easier for the Adoptee
Sep 12, 2009
When a child is adopted at birth or toddlerhood, social networks have been established, bonding and attachment has occurred, and name changes have taken place by the time the adoptee starts school. In the case of an older child being adopted, everything in the child’s world is changed at once and starting at a new school can cause many transition issues to arise.
What Parents Can Do to Help Their Adopted Child at School
There may be a tendency for adoptive families to want to keep their child home for a while, to give everyone a chance to bond and adjust. However, adoptive parents should start the child in school as soon as possible to give some sense of normalcy. For many adopted kids it is easier to slide into the routine and familiarity of school, even if it is a different one, than getting used to an adoptive family.
School choice is also important. The local neighbourhood school may not be the best fit for a recently adopted child and adoptive parents need to take care in selecting the new school for the adoptee.
- Will the student fit in culturally, racially and religiously?
- Does the school provide the same supports and activities that the child is used to?
- Are there other adopted children attending the school?
In addition, it is advisable to have the adopted child begin school at the same time as her peers, rather than changing schools in the middle of the term to minimize the impact of being “the new kid”.
How to Help Older Adoptees Balance School and Family
To help make life manageable, parents may need to cut some slack on household chores, extra-curricular activities and homework as the adoptee grieves the loss of her previous life and gets to know her adoptive family. Once the older adopted child has adjusted to school and family life, more responsibilities and activities can be added.
Sometimes adopted children have not attended school before, as the case in some international adoptions, or their academics have suffered in the past because of life circumstances. In these cases it is important for the adoptive parents to provide extra support outside of the classroom such as counseling, tutoring and ESL classes.
How the School Can Help With the Adopted Child’s Transition
The most important thing a school can do to help an adopted child adjust to a new school is to create a teaching environment that accepts and values the way all families are made, including adoption. Schools also need to encourage sensitivity to all cultures and languages in the classroom, especially for children adopted internationally and transracially.
To help older adopted kids transition to school and to be comfortable in the new educational setting, teachers can also:
- Minimize changes in the classroom such as seating plans, staffing and routines.
- Handle discussions on drugs, alcohol, poverty and abuse with care, as the adopted child may be extra sensitive to these topics depending on her life experiences.
- Discuss all projects involving family history, genetics or family related holidays with the adoptive parents to brainstorm appropriate assignments.
By making efforts to minimize assignments and activities that single out the adoptee, teachers build trust with the student and make the transition to a new school a little easier.
In preparing for transition issues when the adoptee starts school, adoptive parents and teachers can help ease the stress and create a positive educational environment for the older adopted child. For more information on school issues and adopted kids, read Issues for Adopted Kids Starting School, School Transition Issues for Adopted Kids and Telling School About an Adopted Child.
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