Naming an Adopted Child
Choosing a Name That Connects to a Child’s Past
Choosing a name for an adopted child can be a complex but meaningful process. Consider these ideas for a baby or older child who is joining the family through adoption.
Choosing a name is a very important part of preparing for the arrival of a child in both adoptive and non-adoptive families. For many couples, the decision is carved in stone before there is even a promise of a child and for others, hours of research and discussion happen before the perfect moniker is agreed upon. Adoptive families, however, may have some special considerations to explore when discussing their child’s name.
Keep the Birth Name
For babies adopted at birth, the norm is for the adoptive parents to choose the child’s name. With the prevalence of open adoptions, sometimes adoptive parents and birth parents decide on an infant’s name together. In both traditional and open adoptions where the birth parents have named the child, many adoptive parents are choosing to keep a version of the child’s birth name to have a connection with the child’s past. This is especially true for children who are adopted abroad.
Many families also opt to use the child’s birth name as one of the middle names. However, for kids older than one year, experts recommend that adoptive parents keep the child’s original name as a first name (Melina, 1998). The argument is that it is already part of the child’s identity and they have learned to respond to this name. For school age kids, parents should talk to them about their name and perhaps there is a version of their birth name that they would prefer.
Research the Child’s Heritage and Birth Place
Researching the child’s heritage may help generate ideas for baby names. For example, names from another country are often uncommon in North America and the spelling can be changed to reflect the language preference of the adoptive family. Whether a child has been adopted domestically or abroad, unique names can be seen in the titles of parks, street names, cities and points of interest such as Larissa, a city in Russia or Tano, a river in Africa. Movie and television credits are also great resources to find names that reflect many different cultures.
Choose a Name with Special Meaning
It may also be helpful to consider the sentiments that the adoptive family has about the child and the birth family. Is the child an answer to a prayer? Parents can look up names such as Tachan (boy) or Aarya (both genders) as options to name their angel. Has the child been long hoped for? Kayin, a Nigerian name meaning long awaited child is a unique choice for a boy or girl. Did the child join the family during a special time of year or a favourite season? Consider Chyou as a Chinese girl’s name meaning autumn or Neva as a Spanish name for covered in snow, also for a girl. There are a number of website resources that allow a search of baby names by meaning.
Although a favourite name may never be used or an unpopular name finds its way into the family, the best approach to choosing an adopted child’s name is to always consider the child’s best interest. After all, a name said in love is the most wonderful gift parents can give their kids.
References
Melina, Lois Ruskai, Raising Adopted Children, Harper Collins Publishers, 1998.
