School Transition Issues for Adopted Kids
Signs an Adoptee is Having Trouble Adjusting to a New School
Sep 15, 2009
Starting in a new school is stressful for most kids, but for children who have been adopted, there may be even more anxiety and issues around classroom adjustment. Depending on the age and personality of the child, the types of problems that adopted kids experience range from not interacting with classmates to challenging authority. However, by understanding why adoptees may have difficulties with school transitions and being aware of the signs, adoptive parents and teachers can help support the adjustment.
Why Adopted Kids Have Trouble Adjusting to School
According to studies cited in Raising Adopted Children [Quill, 2002], the pressures of going to a new school might emphasize core adoption issues such as feelings of rejection and finding an identity. Along with these issues, the young adoptee may feel a loss of control, anger at the key people in her life and a profound sense of loss over her previous life.
Although there are many similarities between school environments, there are also differences that may impact an adopted child. As schools differ in the variety of clubs, activities and sports teams they have available, it may be more difficult to slide into things that were easy for the adoptee at her old school. For example, if an adoptee was a star volleyball player at her old school, but not make the cut at the try-outs at her new school, this rejection may affect her more than her non-adopted peers who did not make the team either.
When a child is moved to an adoptive family, the challenges of making friends and connecting with teachers may also be more difficult than it is for other children who have moved to a new school. Lack of trust and fear of not fitting in may be at the root of this challenge for some adoptees, as they are core adoption issues as well.
Signs That an Adoptee is not Transitioning Well at School
Although all children may have times in their academic career when they experiment with different identities, older adopted kids may try different behaviours to fit in with peers or to cope with the stresses in their lives. In addition to hearing to their adoptee talk about problems at school, adoptive parents may see their child:
- Acting out aggressively or "clowning around"
- Becoming uncharacteristically quiet and reserved
- Failing classes or experiencing a drop in grades
- Lacking interest in school social and academic activities
- Having trouble making friends
- Behaving inappropriately by stealing, lying and acting promiscuous
These behaviours may appear for a while as the child adjusts to both the school and adoptive family, and then disappear as the adoptee becomes more comfortable with her new life. If these behaviours persist, however, it is advised that adoptive families seek help from a counselor who deals with adoption related issues.
If adoptive parents and teachers are aware of the signs and reasons why an adopted child may find adjusting to a new school difficult, everyone can work together for a smooth transition. For more information on adopted kids and school read Issues for Adopted Kids Starting School and Helping an Older Adopted Child Adjust to School.
References
Melina, Lois Ruskai. Raising Adopted Children. New York:Quill, 2002.
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