Talking to Classmates About Adoption

Books and Activities for Discussions in Kindergarten and Grade One

Oct 9, 2008 Angela Krueger

By using books and activities, talking about adoption with a child's class helps kids learn about one way of forming a family and that adoption is to be celebrated.

Gone are the days of keeping a child’s adoption a secret from the rest of the world. With growing trends toward international, transracial and open adoptions, many families are noticeable in the community and are proud to talk about the formation of their family.

Most adoptive families are choosing to take a proactive approach to educating others, while at the same time normalizing the experience for their kids. One way to do this is by educating a child’s classmates about adoption.

Learning About Adoption

Before making a presentation to the class, parents need to ask themselves what they see as the purpose of the presentation.

• Is it to talk about adoption as a unique way of forming a family?
• Is it to share culture and traditions from the child’s birth heritage?
• Is it to address an issue the child is experiencing in the school yard?
• Is it to make the adopted child feel more comfortable with her adoption status?

It is important to discuss the presentation with the child to make sure her permission is granted. Some kids may be very willing to have parents read a story in their classroom, whereas others may not be ready to answer the questions that will likely follow the presentation.

It is imperative that the child’s wishes be respected and above all, that nothing personal about her adoption story be revealed to her classmates.

Adoption Books for Children

There are several adoption and family themed books that are appropriate to read to children in the primary grades.

• A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza [Putnam Juvenile, 1992]
• The Family Book by Todd Parr [Little, Brown & Company, 2003]
• Tell Me About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis [HarperTrophy, 1998]
• In My Heart by Molly Bang [Little, Brown & Company, 2006]
• A Koala for Katie by Jonathan London [Albert Whitman & Company, 1997]
• All Kinds of Families by Norma Simon [Albert Whitman & Company, 1976]
• Horace by Holly Keller [Greenwillow Books, 1991]

For a more extensive book list for four to six year olds see the recommendations made by Adoptive Families magazine.

Adoption Education Activities for the Classroom

Although reading to a class full of children is often enough to start conversations with them about adoptive families, it is sometimes helpful to incorporate activities to make the information more concrete. Here are some ideas:

• Share an aspect of the adopted classmate’s birth culture such as food, geography, music or a craft. The presentation could coincide with a significant time of year depending on the culture, Chinese New Year for example.
• Brainstorm about what babies and children need to be looked after properly. This kind of discussion will help kids see why there are birth parents and adoptive parents.
• Talk about animals that look after the babies of other mothers, such as the African elephant and the northern elephant seal.
• Show on a world map where children in the class have traveled to open up conversations about international adoption.
• Make a list of all the people who can love a child such as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, siblings, step parents, to encourage discussion of birth parents and foster parents.

By teaching classmates to understand adoption through books and activities, parents help their adopted kids feel confident and proud of their family. For more articles on celebrating adoption, read Family Trees for Adopted Kids and Celebrate Adoption.

The copyright of the article Talking to Classmates About Adoption in Adoption is owned by Angela Krueger. Permission to republish Talking to Classmates About Adoption in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Books Are an Effective Way of Introducing Adoption