Telling School About an Adopted Child

Tips on How to Talk About Adoption With the Teacher

Aug 6, 2009 Angela Krueger

Adoptive parents can help adopted kids adjust to a new school year by discussing class projects, culture awareness and adoption issues with the teacher.

At the beginning of the school year, adoptive parents often wonder if they should disclose their child’s adoption to his teacher. According to Lois Ruskai Melina in Raising Adopted Children [Quill, 2002], a child’s adoption status is part of his social history and should be shared with the professionals working with an adoptee, including teachers.

There are many reasons for disclosing a child’s adoption to the school, and adoptive parents need to be prepared to be an advocate for their child. Most important, however, is that adoptive parents do not give the impression that the child is different or fragile because of his adoption.

Reasons to Talk to the Teacher About Adoption

Generally speaking, it would be hard to identify the children who were adopted in an average school setting. So why would it be necessary to tell a teacher about a child’s adoption status? Here are some reasons to disclose.

• There are issues related to the child’s adoption such as attachment disorders.
• The student has developmental, behavioural or learning issues due to the child’s care prior to adoption.
• To clarify details such as changes to the child’s name and the family constellation surrounding the adoptee.
• It is expected that the family will adopt another child in the near future, anticipating some conversation about adoption from the student.
• To discuss class assignments relating to the families of the students such as family tree and genetics projects.
• The child moved to a new school in the middle of the academic year.
• The student is receiving therapeutic support outside of the school for conditions such as anxiety, health issues and communication disorders.

Although there are many reasons why adoptive parents talk to teachers, it is not necessary to go into detail as to why the adopted child has these issues. To maintain the student’s right to privacy, adopted kids and their parents do not need to discuss the circumstances of the adoption or the status of birth parents.

How to Disclose Information About an Adopted Child

It is not fair to assume that a child’s teacher knows everything about adoption, so it is up to the adoptive parents to educate the teacher on adoption in general. Here are some tips for bringing up the adoption topic with school authorities.

• Initiate a meeting with the teacher outside class hours.
• Ask for the student's input on what information he is comfortable sharing with the teacher and encourage him to be part of the meeting.
• Offer to bring in resources about adoption for the teacher on positive adoption language or books for the library.
• Bring in a copy of the relevant curriculum and suggest alternative projects for assignments that could be difficult for an adopted student.
• Offer to talk to the child’s classmates about adoption, particularly if there is a cultural aspect to share.

It may also be helpful for parents of children adopted transracially to be prepared to address the issues of racial prejudice and cultural stereotypes, particularly if the school is not racially diverse.

By talking to a child’s school about adoption, adoptive parents are educating teachers and administrators about unique adoption perspectives, while at the same time emphasizing that adopted kids are normal kids. The key is to have a meeting that helps the teacher better understand the student and addresses issues related to adoption before they arise.

References

Melina, Lois Ruskai. Raising Adopted Children. New York:Quill, 2002.

The copyright of the article Telling School About an Adopted Child in Adoption is owned by Angela Krueger. Permission to republish Telling School About an Adopted Child in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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