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Posted by Crystal Killion Jul 25, 2008 |
Foster parents do a real disservice to the very children they are trying to help when they hold unrealistic expectations of foster children. When a new child comes into your home, it is natural to hold some type of expectation about what they will look like, act like, be like, ect. However, the expectations that you hold for that child can set the child up for failure if they’re not realistic.
Too often, foster parents expect their foster child to behave like other children of the same age group. This is especially true the newer the family is to foster parenting. Children who have had the good fortune to grow up in a nurturing environment don’t have to grapple with the same issues that foster children do, therefore, they are able to focus their energies on being normal, thriving children always learning and growing.
Children in the public welfare system, on the other hand, have suffered losses well beyond their years. Much time is spent dealing with the pain of maltreatment, followed by the anxiety of separation from their birth family. The longer the abuse or neglect went on, the further behind in development the child may have lagged. Holding these children up to the standard of the “average” child will cause frustration in the foster parent and instill a sense of failure and worthlessness in the foster child.
For more articles on foster parenting:
What Seasoned Foster parents Know