Adoption
- Top 10 Adoption Articles
- A Child Without a Country
- Father’s Day is Sunday, June 15
- Adoption Myth #2
- Top 9 Foster Parenting Articles
- Foster Parenting Top Ten
- Birth Mother's Day
- National Foster Care Month
- Summer is Almost Here
- Adoption Myth #1
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
This top ten list is made possible by you, the reader, of my most popular adoption articles of the past three months.
I love lists! I think lists are fun to read. I also like statistics. When I research, I like to know how many people are effected by what I'm researching, and who is effected by it. Seeing the numbers puts it in perspective for me.Since this is the first day of July, I though it would be interesting to see which articles were the most popular over the past three months. Some were surprising, some were not. So, ranked from the most popular on down, from April 1st through June 30th, 2008, are my ten most popular adoption articles:
1. China’s Adoption Criteria: An Overview of the Requirements for Adopting a Child from China
2. Helping Adopted Children Thrive: Tips for Transitioning Older Children into Their Adoptive Family
3. Adopting from Ethiopia: Information and Requirements for Adoptive Parents
4. Foster Child Adoption 101: The Basics of Adding to Your Family Through the Foster Care System
5. The Adoption Home Study: Tips for Completing this Important Step in the Adoption Process
6. Adoption Lifebooks: Why Creating a Lifebook is so Important
7. Post-Adoption Depression: What New Adoptive Parents Should Know About PADS – This article received an Editor’s Choice Award for this article!
8. Adopting from India: Information and Requirements for Adoptive Parents
9. Creating an Adoption Lifebook: Instructions and Suggestions to Get You Started
10. Adoption Placement Coordinators: An Overview of the Three Most Common Ways to Arrange an Adoption
This list wouldn’t be possible without you- the reader. So, keep reading and stay tuned for even more informative adoption and foster parenting articles (and blogs!). Email me if you have a suggestion or a comment- I would love to hear from you!
Thank you and happy reading!
~ Crystal ~
1. China’s Adoption Criteria: An Overview of the Requirements for Adopting a Child from China
2. Helping Adopted Children Thrive: Tips for Transitioning Older Children into Their Adoptive Family
3. Adopting from Ethiopia: Information and Requirements for Adoptive Parents
4. Foster Child Adoption 101: The Basics of Adding to Your Family Through the Foster Care System
5. The Adoption Home Study: Tips for Completing this Important Step in the Adoption Process
6. Adoption Lifebooks: Why Creating a Lifebook is so Important
7. Post-Adoption Depression: What New Adoptive Parents Should Know About PADS – This article received an Editor’s Choice Award for this article!
8. Adopting from India: Information and Requirements for Adoptive Parents
9. Creating an Adoption Lifebook: Instructions and Suggestions to Get You Started
10. Adoption Placement Coordinators: An Overview of the Three Most Common Ways to Arrange an Adoption
This list wouldn’t be possible without you- the reader. So, keep reading and stay tuned for even more informative adoption and foster parenting articles (and blogs!). Email me if you have a suggestion or a comment- I would love to hear from you!
Thank you and happy reading!
~ Crystal ~
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
A Pennsylvania family fights to obtain U.S. citizenship for their 16-year-old Guatemalan-born adopted daughter.
Fourteen years ago, the Mulvihill family from West Allentown, Pennsylvania, brought little Allie home from Guatemala and adopted her into their family. The joy of adoption was overshadowed by doubts about the credibility of the adoption agency, which no longer exists, and allegations that Allie was kidnapped from her birth mother.
Over the years, instead of being able to finally resolve the matter and move on with their lives, the Mulvihills are facing the stark reality that their daughter may never be allowed to become a U.S. citizen.
Allie Mulvihill is in the country, on humanitarian parole, by permission granted in 1994 by the U.S. Attorney General. Since then, the family has faced mounds of paperwork and legal wrangling that has led to nowhere. At 16, Allie is ready to move on with her life.
In their defense, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services released a statement saying, "[The] USCIS simply cannot ignore the law. We strongly urge the Mulvihills to provide evidence showing their daughter is eligible for permanent residency."
It has been suggested that the Mulvihill family re-adopt Allie in Pennsylvania, a step that they say is futile, but I have to wonder why they refuse? Granted, there is no guarantee that if they do re-adopt Allie that she will finally be granted citizenship status, but why not try? I don’t see how she could be refused citizenship if she is formally adopted on U.S. soil, and I don’t see how it could hurt to try. Just my humble opinion.
Thankfully, most international adoptions go much smoother, which is why this is making the headlines.
You can read the full story here: Adopted Daughter, 16, Can't Become U.S. Citizen
Articles that may be of interest:
Adopting from Taiwan
Adopting from Ethiopia
China’s Adoption Criteria
Over the years, instead of being able to finally resolve the matter and move on with their lives, the Mulvihills are facing the stark reality that their daughter may never be allowed to become a U.S. citizen.
Allie Mulvihill is in the country, on humanitarian parole, by permission granted in 1994 by the U.S. Attorney General. Since then, the family has faced mounds of paperwork and legal wrangling that has led to nowhere. At 16, Allie is ready to move on with her life.
In their defense, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services released a statement saying, "[The] USCIS simply cannot ignore the law. We strongly urge the Mulvihills to provide evidence showing their daughter is eligible for permanent residency."
It has been suggested that the Mulvihill family re-adopt Allie in Pennsylvania, a step that they say is futile, but I have to wonder why they refuse? Granted, there is no guarantee that if they do re-adopt Allie that she will finally be granted citizenship status, but why not try? I don’t see how she could be refused citizenship if she is formally adopted on U.S. soil, and I don’t see how it could hurt to try. Just my humble opinion.
Thankfully, most international adoptions go much smoother, which is why this is making the headlines.
You can read the full story here: Adopted Daughter, 16, Can't Become U.S. Citizen
Articles that may be of interest:
Adopting from Taiwan
Adopting from Ethiopia
China’s Adoption Criteria
Father’s Day is Sunday, June 15
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
A Father’s Day salute to an adoptive father that I know and love- by my son.
I think adoptive and foster dads don’t receive the recognition that they ought to for all they do for their family. For fathers who aren't biologically connected to their children, the bond between father and child may take a little longer to grow, so it takes hard work and dedication. I’m a nurturer by nature, so I know that it came easier for me, especially since I am the primary caregiver. However, I envy him. He’s a big kid at heart and I admire that the kids adore him just because he’s fun.
So, with Father’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to sit down with my twelve year old son, who was adopted into our family almost a year ago, and put together a list of the . . .
Top Ten Terrific Things about My Adoptive Dad:
10. We cook breakfast together on Saturdays and he taught me to make something [a Mexican dish] he ate [for breakfast] when he was a kid.
9. I look like him even though I’m not his biological son.
8. He takes me places with him without the other kids.
7. He’s funny and makes me laugh.
6. He says I do a good job at mowing the yard.
5. He never yells at me, even though I yell at him sometimes.
4. He tells me he loves me even when I do bad things that really disappoint him.
3. He lets me help him fix things around the house, and shows me how to do it, too.
2. He loves me even though I’m not biologically his [son].
1. He wanted to adopt me.
This is what my son sees as most important to him. I think any child would agree with most of these, regardless of how he entered the family unit.
Happy Father's Day!
So, with Father’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to sit down with my twelve year old son, who was adopted into our family almost a year ago, and put together a list of the . . .
Top Ten Terrific Things about My Adoptive Dad:
10. We cook breakfast together on Saturdays and he taught me to make something [a Mexican dish] he ate [for breakfast] when he was a kid.
9. I look like him even though I’m not his biological son.
8. He takes me places with him without the other kids.
7. He’s funny and makes me laugh.
6. He says I do a good job at mowing the yard.
5. He never yells at me, even though I yell at him sometimes.
4. He tells me he loves me even when I do bad things that really disappoint him.
3. He lets me help him fix things around the house, and shows me how to do it, too.
2. He loves me even though I’m not biologically his [son].
1. He wanted to adopt me.
This is what my son sees as most important to him. I think any child would agree with most of these, regardless of how he entered the family unit.
Happy Father's Day!
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
Many first-time adoptive parents expect to instantly bond with their newly adopted child, and become discouraged when things take longer than they had hoped.
One misconception that adoptive parents often have is that they will instantly bond with their new child. While it is possible to feel a sense of ownership (as in “this is my child”) actual bonding takes time- for the both of you.
Bonding, even for very young children, may take much longer to develop than it takes for the parent to bond to the child. Remember, adopted children have suffered the loss of their birth parents, and even infants can experience attachment problems with their adoptive parents. It is important to allow the child all the time he needs to form an attachment to you. I have heard it said that it typically takes one year per year of age the child is when he enters his new family to form a bond with them. In other words, if the child is two years old when he is adopted, it will take an average of two years for this child to bond with his adoptive family. Attachment may take even longer for children who have had multiple caregivers.
Adoptive parents also shouldn’t overlook their own need to allow time in forming an attachment to their new child. I personally found that the bonding experience was much different with each of my adopted children.
We brought our youngest daughter home from the hospital and the bonding time was relatively short. Our youngest son was seven months old when we got him, and it took at little longer. The oldest is taking much longer, more on his end than mine; however, the process is very different from my other adoptions. Each adoption situation is unique. Your experience will likely be much different from someone else’s, so don’t be discouraged if things take longer than you expected.
Additional reading:
Post-Adoption Depression
Bonding, even for very young children, may take much longer to develop than it takes for the parent to bond to the child. Remember, adopted children have suffered the loss of their birth parents, and even infants can experience attachment problems with their adoptive parents. It is important to allow the child all the time he needs to form an attachment to you. I have heard it said that it typically takes one year per year of age the child is when he enters his new family to form a bond with them. In other words, if the child is two years old when he is adopted, it will take an average of two years for this child to bond with his adoptive family. Attachment may take even longer for children who have had multiple caregivers.
Adoptive parents also shouldn’t overlook their own need to allow time in forming an attachment to their new child. I personally found that the bonding experience was much different with each of my adopted children.
We brought our youngest daughter home from the hospital and the bonding time was relatively short. Our youngest son was seven months old when we got him, and it took at little longer. The oldest is taking much longer, more on his end than mine; however, the process is very different from my other adoptions. Each adoption situation is unique. Your experience will likely be much different from someone else’s, so don’t be discouraged if things take longer than you expected.
Additional reading:
Post-Adoption Depression
Top 9 Foster Parenting Articles
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
My top nine foster parenting articles, listed from least to greatest, in order of reader popularity.
I thought it would be fun to list my most popular foster parenting articles from least to greatest (though some may currently be less popular due to being newer articles):
What Seasoned Foster Parents Know
Welcoming a New Foster Child
Holiday Stress in Foster Children
Resolutions for Foster Parents
Activity Ideas for Foster Children
Lifebooks for Foster Children
Foster Child Adoption 101
Common Foster Child Behaviors
And the #1 most popular foster parenting article is . . .
Foster Parent Letters to the Judge!
If you have a topic that you would like to see covered in an upcoming article or blog, please feel free to email me and let me know!
Thanks for reading!
What Seasoned Foster Parents Know
Welcoming a New Foster Child
Holiday Stress in Foster Children
Resolutions for Foster Parents
Activity Ideas for Foster Children
Lifebooks for Foster Children
Foster Child Adoption 101
Common Foster Child Behaviors
And the #1 most popular foster parenting article is . . .
Foster Parent Letters to the Judge!
If you have a topic that you would like to see covered in an upcoming article or blog, please feel free to email me and let me know!
Thanks for reading!
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
Each and every day foster parents quieting impact other lives. Here’s how great foster patents are making a difference.
In honor of National Foster Care Month, I thought it would be fun, and insightful, to make a short list of ways that foster parents impact the children they care for, and the community around them.
They nurture a child who may have experienced very little tenderness in their young lives.
They show a child what love is.
They make a neglected or abused child feel special and wanted.
They are an example to others of what selfless giving is.
They teach the biological parents by example how to love and parent their child appropriately.
They encourage troubled children to rise above their circumstances and be the best they can be.
They make an impact on society by teaching an abused child how to stop the cycle of violence and not go on to abuse their own children.
They bring respect to the profession of foster parenting by being honest, dedicated, caring, and patient- even when no one is looking.
They never give up.
They change the world one child at a time.
Do you have a story of how a foster parent has touched your life? I would love to hear it! Please feel free to email me.
They nurture a child who may have experienced very little tenderness in their young lives.
They show a child what love is.
They make a neglected or abused child feel special and wanted.
They are an example to others of what selfless giving is.
They teach the biological parents by example how to love and parent their child appropriately.
They encourage troubled children to rise above their circumstances and be the best they can be.
They make an impact on society by teaching an abused child how to stop the cycle of violence and not go on to abuse their own children.
They bring respect to the profession of foster parenting by being honest, dedicated, caring, and patient- even when no one is looking.
They never give up.
They change the world one child at a time.
Do you have a story of how a foster parent has touched your life? I would love to hear it! Please feel free to email me.
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
Birth mothers have been given a bad rap, but it has been my experience that the majority are giving and selfless. Honor a birth mother this Saturday, May 10.
The Saturday before Mother’s Day is a day that is set aside to honor birth mothers.
I want to take this occasion to say a few words about birth mothers, in their defense. They have been made out in the media as selfish, abusive, heartless women who just want to sell their babies for drug money. It doesn’t help that there are a few truly bad ones whose actions have solidified society’s view of birth mothers. However, there are bad apples in every group. Most people will attest to the fact that there are people among them who give their group or organization, and themselves by association, a bad name.
Yes, there are birth mothers who deserve this dim view. Those who have abused, abandoned, and neglected their children. There are just too many options available to women who don’t feel they can parent their child.
However, these types of birth mothers, in my humble opinion, are not the norm. In fact, most birth mothers place their children for adoption out of an abundance of love and concern for their child. They want their baby to have what they cannot give them. They dream of a better life, more opportunities, and a good education for their child. I’ve heard birth mother’s rejoice when they hear of the vacations their child got to go on, and private schools they are attending, and nice clothing they wear. That, my friend, is selflessness.
So, this Birth Mother’s Day, hats off to my heroes: the selfless and giving birth mothers, who gave their children life- not once, but twice- and then blessed a thankful family with the gift of a child. May you find the happiness, peace, and love that you deserve- my dear Birth Mom. Happy Birth Mother’s Day!
I want to take this occasion to say a few words about birth mothers, in their defense. They have been made out in the media as selfish, abusive, heartless women who just want to sell their babies for drug money. It doesn’t help that there are a few truly bad ones whose actions have solidified society’s view of birth mothers. However, there are bad apples in every group. Most people will attest to the fact that there are people among them who give their group or organization, and themselves by association, a bad name.
Yes, there are birth mothers who deserve this dim view. Those who have abused, abandoned, and neglected their children. There are just too many options available to women who don’t feel they can parent their child.
However, these types of birth mothers, in my humble opinion, are not the norm. In fact, most birth mothers place their children for adoption out of an abundance of love and concern for their child. They want their baby to have what they cannot give them. They dream of a better life, more opportunities, and a good education for their child. I’ve heard birth mother’s rejoice when they hear of the vacations their child got to go on, and private schools they are attending, and nice clothing they wear. That, my friend, is selflessness.
So, this Birth Mother’s Day, hats off to my heroes: the selfless and giving birth mothers, who gave their children life- not once, but twice- and then blessed a thankful family with the gift of a child. May you find the happiness, peace, and love that you deserve- my dear Birth Mom. Happy Birth Mother’s Day!
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
May is National Foster Care Month.
Foster parents are often under appreciated and under paid. They do a job that most people do not want to do, as evidenced by the major shortage of foster families nationwide.
So, if you know a foster parent, commemorate National Foster Care Month by showing him or her that you appreciate their sacrifice for needy and traumatized children.
Here are some ideas to get you started showing your appreciation to the foster parents you know:
So, if you know a foster parent, commemorate National Foster Care Month by showing him or her that you appreciate their sacrifice for needy and traumatized children.
Here are some ideas to get you started showing your appreciation to the foster parents you know:
- Have them over for dinner
- Give them a gift card to a nice restaurant or to a movie theater
- Offer to baby-sit so they can have some time out without the children
- Donate money in their name to a charity that helps foster children
- Volunteer to help with the laundry or other household chores
- Hire a housekeeper for a day to clean their house
- Help transport foster children to appointments, school, visitation
- Provide a shoulder to cry on; or a listening, non-judgmental ear
- Pray for them and the family
- Send/ email a card of encouragement
- Purchase a subscription for them to a foster parenting magazine, such as: Fostering Families Today.
- Give them a hug or a pat on the back, and tell them that they are doing a great job
- Send them a thank-you card
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
Keeping foster and adopted children busy during the summer months can be a challenge.
I don’t know about you, but I kind of dread the long, hot summer months when tempers flare more easily, and I hear the constant whine of “Mom, I’m bored!” I find that my older adopted son is especially challenging, as were my foster children when I was a foster parent.
So, this year I am equipping myself with a list of cheap, easy, and educational activities for them to choose from:
So, this year I am equipping myself with a list of cheap, easy, and educational activities for them to choose from:
- Phone, write, or email a friend
- Draw or paint a picture
- Draw a cartoon strip
- Ride your bike or scooter
- Read a book
- Write a story or poem
- Turn on some music and dance
- Play in the water hose
- Have a water gun fight (with willing siblings or friends)
- Do something nice for someone else
- Read to your younger brother and sister
- Write a song
- Play a board game with your siblings or firends
- Go bird-watching
- Take a walk
- Draw with sidewalk chalk
- Play with clay or play-doh
- Make something with craft items
- Play with K’Nex, Legos, or Lincoln Logs
- Build an obstacle course and race against your friends to complete
- Have a tea party
- Hunt for bugs and look at them under a magnifying glass
- Catch butterflies
Posted by
Crystal Killion
Crystal Killion
You don’t have to be rich to adopt. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Our family has adopted three times; twice through the foster care system and once by private domestic adoption. I have heard two statements, in one form or another, said many times. The first statement is, “You must be rich”, and the second is, “I would love to adopt, but I can’t afford it.”
Well, I can assure you that we are not rich. You do not have to be rich to adopt. In fact, adopting from the foster care system costs little to nothing for the adoptive family. Even a private domestic adoption doesn’t need to cost thousands of dollars. I have heard of private domestic adoptions costing as little as $2,000-3,000.
So, my advice is:
Well, I can assure you that we are not rich. You do not have to be rich to adopt. In fact, adopting from the foster care system costs little to nothing for the adoptive family. Even a private domestic adoption doesn’t need to cost thousands of dollars. I have heard of private domestic adoptions costing as little as $2,000-3,000.
So, my advice is:
- Learn as much about adoption as possible- all aspects.
- Research your options.
- Shop around before hiring an attorney, a facilitator, or an agency. Also, shop around before hiring someone to conduct your home study. Even if you choose to contract with an adoption agency, you can usually find a licensed social worker who can do your home study for much less than those who are contracted to do them for the agency.