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Crystal Killion's BlogPosted by Crystal Killion Recently Sarah, a friend of mine, lost her mother unexpectedly to a heart attack. That same week her 14 year old adopted son, Jason, lost a new friend, one that he had barely known two months, to a move to another city. Jason also lost a grandmother (Sarah’s mom); however, he never acknowledge the loss of his adoptive grandmother, but raged with grief and anger over losing the friend whom he barely knew. This is the sometimes strange, yet all-to-common face of Reactive Attachment Disorder. RAD kids will appear to bond quite easily with others they hardly know, yet be unable to form attachments to the very people who love and care for them on a daily basis. Jason raged for nearly two weeks. Some might say that he was really grieving the loss of his grandmother, it just appears that it is due to the loss of his short-term friend. I thought this too. However, Jason’s newfound friend moved four days before his grandmother died, and Sarah was in the midst of coping with his raging when she learned of her mother’s death. My dear friend really suffered on two fronts for a few weeks. In fact, her entire family suffered, and this wasn’t the first time they had to cope with Jason’s rage. Before you adopt, know what you’re getting into. Yes, there are thousands of children who desperately need homes, but a child with RAD can destroy a home. Educate yourself before jumping into the world of adoption. A fellow writer here on Suite has written some excellent articles about attachment and adoption: Attachment Disorders and Adopted Children Attachment and Bonding in Adoption Before adopting: Posted by Crystal Killion Foster parents do a real disservice to the very children they are trying to help when they hold unrealistic expectations of foster children. When a new child comes into your home, it is natural to hold some type of expectation about what they will look like, act like, be like, ect. However, the expectations that you hold for that child can set the child up for failure if they’re not realistic. Too often, foster parents expect their foster child to behave like other children of the same age group. This is especially true the newer the family is to foster parenting. Children who have had the good fortune to grow up in a nurturing environment don’t have to grapple with the same issues that foster children do, therefore, they are able to focus their energies on being normal, thriving children always learning and growing. Children in the public welfare system, on the other hand, have suffered losses well beyond their years. Much time is spent dealing with the pain of maltreatment, followed by the anxiety of separation from their birth family. The longer the abuse or neglect went on, the further behind in development the child may have lagged. Holding these children up to the standard of the “average” child will cause frustration in the foster parent and instill a sense of failure and worthlessness in the foster child. For more articles on foster parenting: Posted by Crystal Killion Note: Names have been changed to protect privacy. I just completed a three part series on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). It sprung from personal experience with a family I know. They adopted a baby boy, John, from a birth mother who claimed to only have drank “once in a while” during pregnancy. John was a beautiful baby and showed no signs of an FASD at birth. The only real sign was that he only weighed six pounds- full-term. John always seemed younger than his age, potty trained at 4 ½, and was hyperactive. In school, the teachers felt he was “a little slower” than his peers, and could only follow simple directions even in third grade- after being held back twice. He had problems with attention, was easily over stimulated (often misbehaving as a result), and had a hard time going from one activity to another. Though he was eventually diagnosed with ADHD and mental retardation, it still seemed like something was being missed. John’s mom came across literature about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and felt John fit much of the description. She took John to his pediatrician, who then referred John to a specialist with experience diagnosing FAS. John was diagnosed with a FASD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder- since he fit many of the symptoms, yet his facial features didn't completely match the diagnostic criteria for FAS. Once John was diagnosed, his parents and teachers were finally able to more accurately meet his specific needs as a child effected by FASD. The moral of this story is: If something seems wrong or incomplete with a diagnosis your child is given, don’t give up until you get the answers you both deserve. For further reading: Posted by Crystal Killion I love lists! I think lists are fun to read. I also like statistics. When I research, I like to know how many people are effected by what I'm researching, and who is effected by it. Seeing the numbers puts it in perspective for me.Since this is the first day of July, I though it would be interesting to see which articles were the most popular over the past three months. Some were surprising, some were not. So, ranked from the most popular on down, from April 1st through June 30th, 2008, are my ten most popular adoption articles: 1. China’s Adoption Criteria: An Overview of the Requirements for Adopting a Child from China 2. Helping Adopted Children Thrive: Tips for Transitioning Older Children into Their Adoptive Family 3. Adopting from Ethiopia: Information and Requirements for Adoptive Parents 4. Foster Child Adoption 101: The Basics of Adding to Your Family Through the Foster Care System 5. The Adoption Home Study: Tips for Completing this Important Step in the Adoption Process 6. Adoption Lifebooks: Why Creating a Lifebook is so Important 7. Post-Adoption Depression: What New Adoptive Parents Should Know About PADS – This article received an Editor’s Choice Award for this article! 8. Adopting from India: Information and Requirements for Adoptive Parents 9. Creating an Adoption Lifebook: Instructions and Suggestions to Get You Started 10. Adoption Placement Coordinators: An Overview of the Three Most Common Ways to Arrange an Adoption This list wouldn’t be possible without you- the reader. So, keep reading and stay tuned for even more informative adoption and foster parenting articles (and blogs!). Email me if you have a suggestion or a comment- I would love to hear from you! Thank you and happy reading! ~ Crystal ~ Posted by Crystal Killion Fourteen years ago, the Mulvihill family from West Allentown, Pennsylvania, brought little Allie home from Guatemala and adopted her into their family. The joy of adoption was overshadowed by doubts about the credibility of the adoption agency, which no longer exists, and allegations that Allie was kidnapped from her birth mother. Over the years, instead of being able to finally resolve the matter and move on with their lives, the Mulvihills are facing the stark reality that their daughter may never be allowed to become a U.S. citizen. Allie Mulvihill is in the country, on humanitarian parole, by permission granted in 1994 by the U.S. Attorney General. Since then, the family has faced mounds of paperwork and legal wrangling that has led to nowhere. At 16, Allie is ready to move on with her life. In their defense, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services released a statement saying, "[The] USCIS simply cannot ignore the law. We strongly urge the Mulvihills to provide evidence showing their daughter is eligible for permanent residency." It has been suggested that the Mulvihill family re-adopt Allie in Pennsylvania, a step that they say is futile, but I have to wonder why they refuse? Granted, there is no guarantee that if they do re-adopt Allie that she will finally be granted citizenship status, but why not try? I don’t see how she could be refused citizenship if she is formally adopted on U.S. soil, and I don’t see how it could hurt to try. Just my humble opinion. Thankfully, most international adoptions go much smoother, which is why this is making the headlines. You can read the full story here: Adopted Daughter, 16, Can't Become U.S. Citizen Articles that may be of interest: Posted by Crystal Killion I think adoptive and foster dads don’t receive the recognition that they ought to for all they do for their family. For fathers who aren't biologically connected to their children, the bond between father and child may take a little longer to grow, so it takes hard work and dedication. I’m a nurturer by nature, so I know that it came easier for me, especially since I am the primary caregiver. However, I envy him. He’s a big kid at heart and I admire that the kids adore him just because he’s fun. So, with Father’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to sit down with my twelve year old son, who was adopted into our family almost a year ago, and put together a list of the . . . Top Ten Terrific Things about My Adoptive Dad: 10. We cook breakfast together on Saturdays and he taught me to make something [a Mexican dish] he ate [for breakfast] when he was a kid. 9. I look like him even though I’m not his biological son. 8. He takes me places with him without the other kids. 7. He’s funny and makes me laugh. 6. He says I do a good job at mowing the yard. 5. He never yells at me, even though I yell at him sometimes. 4. He tells me he loves me even when I do bad things that really disappoint him. 3. He lets me help him fix things around the house, and shows me how to do it, too. 2. He loves me even though I’m not biologically his [son]. 1. He wanted to adopt me. This is what my son sees as most important to him. I think any child would agree with most of these, regardless of how he entered the family unit. Happy Father's Day! Posted by Crystal Killion One misconception that adoptive parents often have is that they will instantly bond with their new child. While it is possible to feel a sense of ownership (as in “this is my child”) actual bonding takes time- for the both of you. Bonding, even for very young children, may take much longer to develop than it takes for the parent to bond to the child. Remember, adopted children have suffered the loss of their birth parents, and even infants can experience attachment problems with their adoptive parents. It is important to allow the child all the time he needs to form an attachment to you. I have heard it said that it typically takes one year per year of age the child is when he enters his new family to form a bond with them. In other words, if the child is two years old when he is adopted, it will take an average of two years for this child to bond with his adoptive family. Attachment may take even longer for children who have had multiple caregivers. Adoptive parents also shouldn’t overlook their own need to allow time in forming an attachment to their new child. I personally found that the bonding experience was much different with each of my adopted children. We brought our youngest daughter home from the hospital and the bonding time was relatively short. Our youngest son was seven months old when we got him, and it took at little longer. The oldest is taking much longer, more on his end than mine; however, the process is very different from my other adoptions. Each adoption situation is unique. Your experience will likely be much different from someone else’s, so don’t be discouraged if things take longer than you expected. Additional reading: Posted by Crystal Killion I thought it would be fun to list my most popular foster parenting articles from least to greatest (though some may currently be less popular due to being newer articles): What Seasoned Foster Parents Know Holiday Stress in Foster Children Resolutions for Foster Parents Activity Ideas for Foster Children And the #1 most popular foster parenting article is . . . Foster Parent Letters to the Judge! If you have a topic that you would like to see covered in an upcoming article or blog, please feel free to email me and let me know! Thanks for reading! Posted by Crystal Killion In honor of National Foster Care Month, I thought it would be fun, and insightful, to make a short list of ways that foster parents impact the children they care for, and the community around them. They nurture a child who may have experienced very little tenderness in their young lives. They show a child what love is. They make a neglected or abused child feel special and wanted. They are an example to others of what selfless giving is. They teach the biological parents by example how to love and parent their child appropriately. They encourage troubled children to rise above their circumstances and be the best they can be. They make an impact on society by teaching an abused child how to stop the cycle of violence and not go on to abuse their own children. They bring respect to the profession of foster parenting by being honest, dedicated, caring, and patient- even when no one is looking. They never give up. They change the world one child at a time. Do you have a story of how a foster parent has touched your life? I would love to hear it! Please feel free to email me. Posted by Crystal Killion The Saturday before Mother’s Day is a day that is set aside to honor birth mothers. I want to take this occasion to say a few words about birth mothers, in their defense. They have been made out in the media as selfish, abusive, heartless women who just want to sell their babies for drug money. It doesn’t help that there are a few truly bad ones whose actions have solidified society’s view of birth mothers. However, there are bad apples in every group. Most people will attest to the fact that there are people among them who give their group or organization, and themselves by association, a bad name. Yes, there are birth mothers who deserve this dim view. Those who have abused, abandoned, and neglected their children. There are just too many options available to women who don’t feel they can parent their child. However, these types of birth mothers, in my humble opinion, are not the norm. In fact, most birth mothers place their children for adoption out of an abundance of love and concern for their child. They want their baby to have what they cannot give them. They dream of a better life, more opportunities, and a good education for their child. I’ve heard birth mother’s rejoice when they hear of the vacations their child got to go on, and private schools they are attending, and nice clothing they wear. That, my friend, is selflessness. So, this Birth Mother’s Day, hats off to my heroes: the selfless and giving birth mothers, who gave their children life- not once, but twice- and then blessed a thankful family with the gift of a child. May you find the happiness, peace, and love that you deserve- my dear Birth Mom. Happy Birth Mother’s Day! Posted by Crystal Killion Foster parents are often under appreciated and under paid. They do a job that most people do not want to do, as evidenced by the major shortage of foster families nationwide. So, if you know a foster parent, commemorate National Foster Care Month by showing him or her that you appreciate their sacrifice for needy and traumatized children. Here are some ideas to get you started showing your appreciation to the foster parents you know:
Hopefully, these ideas will get your creative juices flowing. If you do something special for a foster family you know, I would love to hear about it! Posted by Crystal Killion I don’t know about you, but I kind of dread the long, hot summer months when tempers flare more easily, and I hear the constant whine of “Mom, I’m bored!” I find that my older adopted son is especially challenging, as were my foster children when I was a foster parent. So, this year I am equipping myself with a list of cheap, easy, and educational activities for them to choose from:
Now, I would love to hear some of your ideas- please share! Posted by Crystal Killion Our family has adopted three times; twice through the foster care system and once by private domestic adoption. I have heard two statements, in one form or another, said many times. The first statement is, “You must be rich”, and the second is, “I would love to adopt, but I can’t afford it.” Well, I can assure you that we are not rich. You do not have to be rich to adopt. In fact, adopting from the foster care system costs little to nothing for the adoptive family. Even a private domestic adoption doesn’t need to cost thousands of dollars. I have heard of private domestic adoptions costing as little as $2,000-3,000. So, my advice is:
My personal motto is: where there’s a will, there’s a way. Posted by Crystal Killion After I adopted my newborn daughter, I was surprised to find myself crying for no reason. I felt depressed, moody, and absolutely worn-out. On top of that, I felt terribly guilty for having these feelings. After all, I had longed for another baby for years. My husband and I tried everything before turning to adoption and now here she was- our dream come true! What was wrong with me? Post-Adoption Depression Well, like an estimated 65% of adoptive parents, I was suffering from Post-Adoption Depression (PADS). It is similar to postpartum depression, yet very few adoption or mental health professionals recognize PADS as an actual condition. I was completely caught off-guard and alone. How I Coped First, I got online and armed myself with knowledge. I learned about PADS and gathered suggestions for combating it. Next, I began to take better care of myself physically, napped when baby was napping, and relaxed my housekeeping standards for a little while. In other words, I did what any new mother should do: I took it easy while I adjusted to my new life. Then, I networked with other adoptive parents. One such resource for me was a lady from my homeschool group who had also adopted, and had experienced many of the same symptoms that I was suffering from. I was able to draw support from her, which helped tremendously. Adoption is a Life-Changing Experience If you find that you need to seek professional help, allow yourself to do so without guilt. Make the time to network with other adoptive parents, either by connecting with a local support group, or online. Finally, don’t compare yourself to others! Everyone reacts differently to major life changes. Happily, I went on to adopt two more children and haven’t looked back! Posted by Crystal Killion Well, I finally got our taxes done and filed. I just couldn’t come up with any more excuses to hold off any longer. Again this year, we qualify for the Adoption Tax Credit, since the adoption of our son was finalized in July of 2007. Although this is not the first time we have received the tax credit, I was still a little vague on the exact way the credit worked. The first year we received the credit, our tax prep gal gave us the standard answer; however, last week I read the explanation that TurboTax has on their website and really understood it like I hadn’t before. One thing that really had confused me was the term tax credit. My thinking was that we would receive any money over the amount of the taxes we owed. Not true. What happens is that when you qualify for the Adoption Tax Credit, the amount of the credit (which this year is a maximum of $11,390) is applied to any tax burden you have, then the remainder is rolled over to the next year, thus making your tax burden $0. In other words, if you owe the IRS $6,000 in taxes, the credit will be applied to that amount thus reducing your tax burden to $0, and then the remaining portion rolled over to the next year. The credit can be rolled over for a maximum of five years before it expires. So, I guess doing my own taxes had a plus side to it- I learned something new. Now it’s time for my annual tax year resolution (that I never seem to keep)- “I will keep track of my receipts throughout the year, and record them each month, instead of waiting until the last minute.” Posted by Crystal Killion The other day I forgot that my three year old son is adopted. Honestly, I just plum forgot! I was looking at a picture of myself of when I was a child that, to me anyway, looks amazingly like my adopted son. I proudly showed the photo to everyone who would take a peek. In the meantime, I would go on and on about how he looks like my side of the family, has the same hair color as I did at his age, similar features, and so on. Finally it hit me – he’s adopted! At first I felt silly at how I had gone on about the resemblance. Obviously everyone else knew he was adopted and I felt sheepish that I was dotting on my son like a . . . like a . . . mother. Like a mother! That is the beautiful thing about a mother’s love. A mother’s love sees the heart and soul of her child, not whose blood is coursing through his or her veins. Adoption is like labor and delivery, it is hard work! Anyone who believes that adopting is easier than childbirth has never had the two to compare to each other. I have been blessed enough to experience both and, in my humble opinion, childbirth is way easier. However, like a mother who has struggled through hours of pain to finally have it give way to joy, the turmoil of the adoption journey does fade away in light of the beautiful child you then call your very own. You forget the pain, and what you do remember makes your love for him that much stronger. So it is no wonder that I forgot that my dear little boy was adopted because he is very much mine. Posted by Crystal Killion Ahhh . . . spring is almost here! I love this time of year. I am excitedly looking forward to Easter. We have family coming in from out-of-town and we’re planning an Easter egg hunt. I must admit that I have become caught up in everything Easter and I love it! I Grieved the Baby I Could Not Have I struggled with secondary infertility for years before we were able to adopt my, now, three year old daughter. My “baby” at the time was 11. I missed the pitter-patter of little feet, the toys strewn across the floor, and the thrill of seeing the world through tiny eyes. I especially grieved during the holidays. Yes, I deeply loved my daughters (still do), but in my heart I knew something was missing and I couldn’t get over it. There is a special joy that young ones add to the celebration, a sense of wonder and delight that is contagious. No, this isn’t the only reason I wanted another child, that’s a story for another blog day. However, each holiday that came and went only reminded my husband and I of what we longed so desperately for—a baby. Now we have been blessed with not one- but two little ones! Looking Forward to This Easter This Easter, I am looking forward to hearing their squeals of delight when they first glimpse their baskets on Easter morning, and watching their excitement when they discover their first egg during the Easter egg hunt. I took for granted so many little things when my older daughters were young. Now, I savor every moment knowing that it too soon becomes a distant memory. To me, every day is a miracle with my precious children- each and every one of them. Wishing you a joyous and wonder-filled Easter! Posted by Crystal Killion In a recent article, I discuss the reasons that creating a lifebook for your adopted child, or foster child, is so helpful to them-and you. When we adopted my daughter I bought a baby book for her. She was a newborn, so this worked out alright, though certain pages were a bit awkward. The pregnancy and labor pages for instance. However, I managed and faithfully jotted down all her firsts. When we began the process of adopting our next child I wanted a special book for him, too. I knew about lifebooks, but I had no idea where to start. I am not a “craftsy” person and I imagined a lifebook being similar to a scrapbook. I loved my son and didn’t want to cheat him, so off I went to the scrapbook store. I bought every gizmo and gadget that the lady at the store convinced me I “had to have”. Well, to make a long story short, I quickly burned out. For me there had to be a better way. Now, with all three of my adopted children, I find that each lifebook is different. The younger children have “baby-ish” books that seem a little cluttered but has all their special mementos tucked inside: special memories, locks of hair, their first water color painting, and lots of photos. My older son, age 12, is putting together his own lifebook. He has learned about his birth family, our family and himself. We have grown closer each time we work on it, even when the hard questions come up. In fact, I think we bond more during those tough moments. Kids trust honesty and openness. Creating a lifebook with your child will make memories and create bonds. A lifebook is a life-changing experience. Why not start today? Posted by Crystal Killion If you are interested in international adoption, there are several informational meetings scheduled for March and April around the United States. Attending an adoption information meeting is a great way to get started in your adoption journey. They will not only provide information about the agency that is hosting it, but will also educate you about the process of adopting from another country, and answer many of the questions you have about it. These meetings are also a great way to meet and connect with other prospective adoptive parents. I have put together a list of the many agencies that are holding adoption information meetings. Hopefully you will be able to find one near you. This isn’t a complete list by any means, so if you don’t find the agency you are interested in listed, contact them to see if they plan to hold an informational meeting near you. Also, most of these agencies do not require that you are contracted with them in order to attend- they are open to the public. Though some do require advance registration. Note: by listing these agencies I am not necessarily endorsing them. Always research an agency before you contract with them. Posted by Crystal Killion Looking back, there are many things that I wish I had done differently when we were preparing to travel to pick up our soon-to-be-adopted daughter. One of those things I wish I had done was print off a whole slew of maps! It turned out that I had to fly to another state by myself and then my husband would meet u p with me the next day. I have a laughable sense of direction and spent most of that first day utterly and completely lost! I was terrified! I had hoped that I could rely on my memory. After all, it all looked so easy and sensible on the maps I looked at online. The few I printed out should be enough to get me by, and then common sense should guide me from there, right? Not! In the whirlwind of activity that surrounded my trip, and the excitement of it all, I forgot everything. Only that which I had written down was remembered. The moral of the story is to over-plan. Print out maps to and from- your hotel, the hospital, and any agencies you will need to visit. Write down all important, and not-so-important phone numbers, addresses, to do lists, ect. Plan and pack for your adoption trip in the same way you would if you were planning and packing to go to the hospital for childbirth. If you’re not sure exactly when you will need to travel, as was our case, make a detailed list and check it off when the time comes. Get as much together ahead of time as possible. Leave nothing to guess. By over-planning, you will be free from worry and free to relax and enjoy your new arrival! Posted by Crystal Killion It’s tax season again so I thought I would share some adoption tax information and links with you today. I have exciting news! You may be able to claim up to $11,390 for eligible adoption expenses or for adopting a child with special needs. The adoption tax credit is the amount that is subtracted from your tax liability. Eligible expenses include: adoption fees, attorney fees and court costs, travel expenses (gas, hotel/ motel, food). Obviously, all claimed expenses should be within reason and documented by receipts. IRS Adoption Credit Information IRS information about the 2007 Adoption Tax Credit 8839 Qualified Adoption Expense Form (PDF) If you are looking into adoption, The Financial Aspect of Adopting will help you with fund raising ideas and tips. Unfortunately, the adoption tax credit can not be claimed prior to finalization. Posted by Crystal Killion I must admit that I wasn’t that impressed with the movie itself. I found it a little – no extremely goofy, filled with a lot of nonsense. I am glad I watched it, though, and even more happy that my adopted children watched it. Here’s why: Louis is an orphan boy who loves inventing things; unfortunately they usually have one major flaw- they explode! Louis also wants a family. However, after 124 adoption interviews and subsequent rejections, he loses hope. He determines that the only ways he will ever have a family is to invent a machine that will help him find his mother, and then convince her to keep him. One day a kid from the future takes Louis, through a series of events, into the future. There, Louis finds acceptance in the Robinson family. He does finally get to go back in time and see his mother. Once there, Louis realizes that his real family is his adoptive family, and once he discovers this he is able to go on with his life and find happiness. There is much more with lots of twists and turns in the movie, but I was touched by the way adoption was portrayed. My 11 year old adopted son has struggled with many of the same feelings and thoughts that Louis struggled with in the movie. In fact, most adopted children will deal with these kinds of thoughts and emotions at some point in their life. In my opinion, watching this movie is a fun and non-threatening way of helping adopted children understand that their feelings are perfectly normal. We spent some time afterward discussing how Louis was feeling and gave my son the opportunity to share his thoughts about adoption. I think it was a very positive experience for us all. Posted by Crystal Killion In the article, Adoption Placement Coordinators, I gave a brief overview of the three basic types of adoption coordinators. I stressed the importance of checking their credibility and arming yourself with knowledge. Additionally, I would also suggest that it may be wise to retain an adoption attorney from the start, even when using an agency or facilitator. To explain why, let me share with you the story of a family that I personally know. Like most who have struggled with infertility before choosing to adopt, they were emotionally drained and were hoping to quickly find the child of their dreams once they turned to adoption. Within a few months, this couple did find an infant through a facilitator. The facilitator resided in one state while the birth mother resided in another state, and the adoptive parents in yet another state. In the adoptive parents’ state of residence, it was perfectly legal to pay a portion of the birth mother’s expenses. However, in the birth mother’s state it was illegal to do this. To make a long story short, the facilitator underhandedly padded her fees (unknown to the adoptive parents until afterward) in order to pay some post-birth expenses for the birth mother. Once attorneys were involved for finalization, the plot was discovered, thankfully, before it cost this poor family the adoption of their beautiful baby boy. The adoption process can become very sticky when more than one state is involved because laws differ from state to state. Had they had a knowledgeable attorney from the get-go, it would have saved them money, time, and lots of headaches! Thankfully this adoption story has a happy ending, but there are many more that do not. Be a wise consumer! Your heart and happiness is at stake. Posted by Crystal Killion Honestly, there is not much that impresses me. Money, fame, beauty- not impressed. What does impress me is one’s ability to rise up out of poverty, or other such adverse circumstances, to make a contribution to society no matter how great or how small. The important thing is that they didn’t let their past hold them back. One such man was George Washington Carver. He was born into slavery in 1864 near the end of the Civil War, owned by a man named Moses Carver. As an infant, he and his mother were kidnapped, possibly by slave raiders. Moses Carver found and reclaimed George; however, his mother was not to be found, and his father was unknown. Moses Carver and his wife, took George and his brother in and raised them as their own. Later, as a youth, he left his adoptive parents to begin formal education. He was fostered by a childless couple, eventually moving on to another city, and another foster family, in search of a better education. After becoming the first African-American to graduate from the Iowa State College of Agriculture, he went on to become one of the world’s leading agricultural and industrial chemists and educators, famously known for his many inventions using peanuts. George Washington Carver didn’t profit from his inventions, rather he wanted to be of service to his fellow man. The epitaph on his grave reads, “He could have added fortune to fame, but caring for neither, he found happiness and honor in being helpful to the world." Now that impresses me! Please take a moment to participate in our newest poll, and to drop me an email if you have any comments or questions. Posted by Crystal Killion When we traveled to pick up our soon-to-be adopted daughter, we were gone for about two weeks. During the time that we were away, we accumulated a gob of stuff: baby clothes, blankets, diapers, you name it! Thankfully, we were driving our van, so bringing everything home wasn’t too big an issue. However, if we would have been traveling by plane, we would have had to go and purchase another suitcase (or two!). When packing for your trip, remember to pack a duffle bag (or other soft, foldable bag -- that zips shut) inside your suitcase. This way you’ll have something to easily bring all those extra items back in. Do you have any tips for adoption travel? Please feel free to email me and share! Please take a moment to participate in our latest poll! Posted by Crystal Killion Welcome to the new adoption blog at Suite 101! I am excited to have this opportunity to more closely interact with you through this blog, and through the discussions and polls I hope you’ll take part in. We’ll cover all aspects of adoption and foster care, and I’m sure you’ll get to know me a little better along the way. By way of a short introduction: Hello! I’m Crystal. I am married with 5 children ages 16, 14, 11, 3 and 3. The youngest three are adopted, two by foster child adoption and one through a private adoption. We struggled through five years of secondary infertility before turning to adoption and we haven’t looked back. Adoption really is a wonderful choice! If you are considering adoption, whether you have experienced infertility or not, I would recommend reading The Emotional Aspect of Adopting to help prepare you for the emotional roller coaster that is unique to the adoption journey. Currently, I’m finishing up an article about writing a letter to a judge, geared specifically toward foster parents. In the coming weeks and months, I hope to touch on many of the different types of adoptions available, and further discuss ways to advocate for foster children. I also hope to explore the different behaviors and special needs that are common (and not so common) among adopted and foster children, as well as ways to cope with them. Please feel free to email me with any questions you may have, or article suggestions or blog topics that you would like to see covered here. |
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